Increased Heart Rate, Courtesy of My Roommate
by Mr.Panic Attack
Summary: Rusame College AU. Ivan flies over from a horrid and thoroughly traumatizing life in his home country to study in America, and gets paired with a handsome, peppy roommate, who is a little too easily excited 'down there' if you catch my drift. Adventures ensue, shopping, love, and healing each other. Great for those who like to get crushed by feelings with occasional sexy bits.
1. A (Not So) Great First Impression

**AN: So uhm, this is kinda the start off a Horny!Alfred x PTSD!Ivan. If you don't know what PTSD is, its called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I got a whole big backstory and shit for Ivan, and I'm gonna start revealing it in bits and pieces like the prostitution and shit. I'm writing half from personal experience half from research. Author here has mild PTSD, and even with my low key case, I'm still really goddamn shaky and I live in fear. Anywho, if you like it please spread the word and leave a review. Thanks.**

 **~The Stressed AF Bean**

Ivan got off the loud bus with his small suitcase and book bag, shaking from how loud and frightening all the vehicles were here in America. Everything here was so new and wonderful. It was amazing and frightening and helpful and triggering all at the same time. His senses were overloaded as he walked down to a park bench on the campus of his new college. The big Russian had been flown over from his old home in Novosibirsk to study herbal medicine. He was extremely excited to start off a new life in the country of opportunity. The letter containing Ivan's living information was pulled out of the book bag and opened as he read over its contents. To be completely honest, Braginski wasn't expecting for a dorm as well as an education.

He thought he would be sleeping on the streets, just like the old days, searching for food in trash cans and stealing from other homeless in a ruthless battle of survival. Barely anyone survived the harsh winters of his homeland, and he'd been just lucky enough to rough it all out. After reminiscing for a minute, he began to re-read the neatly printed paper for the millionth time. It said that they would be meeting at the Washington memorial park bench in front of the school's parking lot. The bench was old, but well kept, and many names were elegantly carved into the various plaques along the entirety. It obviously wasn't for sitting, but rather a small landmark. Ivan smiled, and let his guard down for just a minute, attempting to sound out the new english names in his head. His mouth moved a little as he read the plaques. It was all rather cute to be honest.

Alfred had happened to wake up a little late, and was rushing to brush his teeth and tug on some jeans. He had arrived a day early and was already moved in, Captain America memorabilia all over his side of the shared room. The dorm space consisted of a small kitchen, a small bathroom, a little living space and one bedroom. To the blonde it was rather cramped, but oh well. In the single bedroom, there was a bed pushed up against the left wall, as well as the right. The left bed was decked out in nerdy superhero merch, whereas the other was quite simple, with sheets, two pillows, and a soft gray-blue comforter. Both sides of the room had a closet near the window which opened opposite the door, and a small desk along with a chair at the end of each bed. It was comfy, and warm, and only needed the second lodger to complete it, as Al had taken his time (and ample amount of money from his parents) and decorated, not to mentioned filled the little apartment. The bathroom had a first aid kit, and a large variety of soaps, shampoos, and OTC meds in case they were needed. The living room had a small tv and a few different gaming consoles, as well as a couch and a few chairs.

The main attraction, however, was the kitchen. It was filled to the brim with food, as Alfred really liked to eat. He was big and muscled, despite the mass amount of sugars and calories he consumed. And by the looks of the cupboards, he wasn't planning on slowing down anytime soon. The American thought about the letter he'd received about his roommate as he zipped around the rooms, getting ready. He was so excited to show Ivan his awesome country! The letter had simply said that he (Ivan Braginski) was an exchange student from Russia, and was to be boarding with Al for the next year or so. There was a picture of the man as well. The blonde drooled a little just remembering it. The image depicted a portrait view of a very buff and handsome man with thick muscles that stretched the white dress shirt he wore. A soft light coloured scarf hid his neck, and his moonlight coloured hair hung a bit shaggy over the tops of his eyes. He seemed to have a blush dusted on his cheeks, and a bashful expression, as if he wasn't used to having his picture taken. Alfred was actually drooling at this point, and his obsessive horny nature got the best of him. He began to imagine the shy Russian underneath him, moaning his name out in shaky breaths.

¨Goddamnit Al, pull yourself together!¨

He said aloud, shaking his head a little to clear the thoughts from his mind as he pulled on his converse and wiped the drool off his chin, running out the door to meet his sexy new roommate.

Ivan was leaning against the bench, almost asleep as he enjoyed the warm American air, completely relaxed. He hadn't slept in over two days, and was beginning to nod off every now and then, sleepily opening his large, doe like eyes once in awhile to wake himself up. He suddenly heard a voice right in front of him.

¨Hey, You Ivan Bruh-shit,um-Braginski? Did I say that right?¨

The American butchered his last name completely, but that didn't matter to the panicked traveler. He immediately jumped back, fists up and feet shifted into a fighting stance. There was terror carved into his large amethyst eyes as he stared back at Alfred. Traumatic memories resurfaced and flickered at the back of his head, threatening to pull him into a flashback as he trembled, trying his best to seem tough. The blonde had scared him quite a lot, and his immediate reflexes were to fight or run. It had been learned through years of being mugged and beaten by those he had worked under. Usually he could get in a good punch or two, but this guy looked strong, and Ivan felt helpless under his confused gaze.

Al immediately stepped back when his new roommate snapped to life and assumed a fighting stance. Geez, who was this guy? Something in Ivan's frightened eyes struck the blonde deep in the heart, making him sad at the pure terror that the man held. He gently placed his hands over Ivan's, lowering them a little to look at the ashen blonde.

"Hey there dude, woah. You're fine. I'm not gonna hurt you okay?"

He said softly, trying his best to calm down the big Russian. He could see a blush cover Ivan's face as his breathing got a little slower and he stopped hyperventilating.

"I'm Alfred. Alfred Jones. your new roommate?"

He said slowly, biting his lip a little as Ivan realised who he was, and quickly stood back up to neutral, blushing madly, hiding his beautiful face in his scarf.

"I-I a-a-am s-sorr-rry s-sir."

He stuttered with a small and polite bow towards Al. The blonde was a bit confused by his strange nature, but more enchanted and curious than anything else. Ivan intrigued him, and his sapphire eyes went up and down the Russian again and again as he drank in the handsome wall of muscle.

"Nah, don't worry about it! It's totally my fault that I scared you! Anyways, I should show you our dorm."

Alfred said, his usual peppy attitude returning. He looked at Ivan, and only saw him holding a tattered book bag and a tiny little trunk, like the ones you saw in the movies. It looked like it could only hold about a week's worth of clothes and a few small possessions.

"So, where are the rest of your bags?"

He asked, his hands resting on his hips as he casually asked the question. Ivan seemed to blush again, and quickly looked to the ground, almost as if he felt shameful.

"I-I-Im s-sorr-rry s-sir, b-but this i-i-is all I h-have…"

He said, one of his hands fiddling with the strap on the bookbag. Al opened his eyes wide as the realization sunk him. Did Ivan really only have that much stuff? Where the hell were his other clothes? And his laptop and shit? What about blankets to sleep with? He'd heard Russia wasn't as privileged as America, but was it really this bad?!

"N-No, dude, don't be sorry, and drop the sir stuff, call me Al. Is… Is that really all you have?"

Ivan hesitantly opened his soft lips to speak, but all that came out was a little squeak as Alfred grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to the dorm. This was unacceptable!

"We are going to the mall ASAP and buying you some actual things."

He huffed. His mom and dad, (Really dad and dad) were rich as fuck and would barely miss a couple hundred to get Ivan decent clothes. The sweater he wore under the long, open coat was threadbare, and hung off of him. Even though quite a lot of him was large and muscled, certain parts seemed bone thin, as if he'd been starved. Had he? Really, what had the Russian been through before here?

Ivan shook more and more as the American dragged him, stumbling to keep up with Alfred. When he heard his new roommate talk about getting him clothes, the door had been shut behind them both, and Ivan instinctively pulled away, backing up against the door. He put his hands up as if to push away the offer.

"N-Niet, y-you are t-t-too k-kind! I-I d-do no-not de-deserv-ve su-such things!"

Ivan was truly surprised by alfred, and confused as all hell. Half of the words Al said didn't make sense, and he was being so damn kind! It was almost unnatural. Alfred grabbed the Russian by the arm again, and went back to their room, making little upset huffs and grumbles. He let go of Ivan when they were both in their room and looked up at him. Ivan stared back down with worried eyes as he subconsciously tilted his head to the side a little, confused. It was an old habit, and he hadn't even noticed. Alfred however, had, and found it not only extremely adorable, but attractive as well. A dark blush spread over Al's tan skin, and he backed up a step, a little embarrassed.

"O-Okay. I've already decorated my bed and side of the room. That bed is yours, and so is everything else over there. You unpack, and as soon as you're done we're going shopping."

He said, and crossed his arms, looking up at the ashen blonde hunk and giving him his signature hero grin, though it looked a little forced. Ivan took another step back in shock, and looked behind him. What in Mother Russia did he mean?

"I-I-I g-get a-a-a b-bed?!"

He asked, lilac eyes wide as he looked from Alfred to the simple bed behind him. Scum like him didn't sleep in beds. He slept on the floor or in the stables, or even on the streets, but never a bed!

Alfred furrowed his brow, keeping his eyes focused on the big Russian as he looked back in forth.

"Yeah, why wouldn't you?..."

He asked, and watched as Ivan knelt down and ran a pale hand over the covers. Al shivered. He wanted Ivan to touch him like that… 'Snap out of it, dude!' Alfred scolded internally, a little angry at himself for thinking things like that about someone he'd just met. Ivan was probably straight anyways. Alfred, however, could go for girls or guys, but he much preferred dick over pussy, and it took a lot for him to like a girl.

"I-I haven't sl-slept i-in a b-bed in y-years…"

Ivan said softly with childlike wonder. That brought Alfred back to reality and his eyes widened in shock. What the hell kinda life did Ivan have before here?!

"What do mean, years?!"

He said, his tone surprised and loud, startling Ivan. The big Russian jumped, and fell back so that he was sitting on the ground, knees together and leaning back on his hands. He pushed his thighs together and blushed, the little pose showing off his body a bit. The sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Ivan didn't get up, and Alfred had to sit down, as his lust was getting to be a little too much to hold in. The American sat on the floor next to Ivan and looked at him, blushing a little. He was a bit sad when the ashen blonde refused to meet his eyes and stuttered out an apology instead.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry, s-sir-um, A-Alfred. I sh-shoul-ould not bother y-you wi-with s-such t-tr-triv-vial m-matt-ters…"

Alfred was sad and horny and confused, and all he did in that moment was lean over and hug the big Russian, burying his face into Ivan's strong, but thin chest. Tears came to his eyes as his mind began panicking. How had Ivan not slept in a bed in years? Where had he slept? Was he homeless? Was he kidnapped? What had happened to him?

Ivan was surprised by alfred's action, and flinched a little at first, scared he would be hit or scolded for his actions. He eventually warmed up to the hug as Alfred gripped his hands into Ivan's threadbare sweater and he wrapped his strong arms around the American. It felt nice. They stayed like that until the sun went down, and Alfred fell asleep crying against Ivan's chest. The big Russian held him and decided to sleep, nodding off onto dreamland for the first time in a few days.


	2. Fun In the Alleyway of McDonalds

_**WARNING: Talk of Rape, Death, Homophobia, And Shitty Writing.**_

 **AN: Short Chapter is short. Also, I just really like uploading. Sorry if there are any mistakes and about my obsessive use of run on sentences. Please leave a review, they do mean a lot, and encourage me to keep doing this. Also, I may begin uploading first chapters to a few other stories. 90% will be my favourite AU´s.**

Alfred woke sleeping next to someone. At first, mind clouded from sleep, he cuddled into the person, leaving a small but gentle kiss on their chest like he always did with his lovers. As soon as he realized where he was, and remembered what had happened the night before, he blushed, and slowly looked up at the big Russian, afraid that he may have been awake for the kiss. Fortunately (read as unfortunately) he wasn't awake to notice the affectionate action. Ivan was breathing fast, and shaking in the slightest as his face held a pained and scared expression. The sleeping man gripped the back of Alfred's shirt as he began to mutter and plead softly in Russian, the nightmare really frightening him. Al put a hand on his roommate's shoulder, and tried his best to rouse him from the terrible nightmare.

¨Hey, Ivan, hey, wake up man.¨

The American said softly, pushing his palm into Ivan, shaking him a bit. Ivan gasped a little and flinched away, squeezing his eyes shut. The foreign words got louder and louder, and a few tears slipped out of the ashen blondes eyes. Alfred began to get a little scared, and shook Ivan harder.

¨Ivan! Wake up!¨

The Russian gasped and cried out as if he'd been hit, and keeled over, resting on Alfred as he cried. Al pushed Ivan back up and shook him harder, tears forming in his sapphire eyes.

¨IVAN! IVAN WAKE UP PLEASE!¨

His violet eyes suddenly snapped wide open, and he threw a punch, just barely missing his roommate. His wide and traumatized eyes flicked around the room, looking frantically for any signs of danger. His breathing slowed and so did his racing heart as he began to remember where he was. When Ivan finally met the american´s sky blue eyes, he blushed darkly and hung his head.

¨S-S-Sorr-rry...¨

He apologised, internally scolding himself at having another nightmare. Alfred however, was just happy to see that he was okay. Without thinking really, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and wrapped his arms around the big Russian, squeezing him.

¨God, dude, you scared the shit outta me, man!¨

He said, his words breathless but relieved. Ivan however was stiff and startled by the affectionate contact, glad that they were in a private space. All affectionate man on man contact besides a handshake was really considered homosexual back home, and all of those who felt that way were killed in his country. Ivan was gay, but hid it quite well, as he'd almost been murdered a few times because of his sexuality. He carefully hugged Alfred back, apologising softly.

¨Dude, there's no need to apologise. You just had a bad nightmare.¨

The blonde said, sitting back down on Ivan's lap.

¨What were you dreaming about that was so scary?

¨I-I am n-n-not s-sure you w-would -l-like to h-h-hear thet...¨

He said softly, not wanting to scare Alfred away. He had been so kind. Al gave him a soft and friendly punch to the shoulder, and Ivan fliched, expecting it to hurt.

¨Oh c´mon, I'm not a baby!¨

The American said, slightly worried about him, but refusing to show it in his face.

¨S-S-Sorry.¨

He said, the shaking from earlier returning slightly. It didn't help that he hadn't eaten in almost a week, and his blood sugar was dangerously low.

¨Dude, really, you're fine. What did you dream about though?¨

Al was curious, and in his concern for the ashen blonde, was totally missing the position the two were in. The shorter of the two was straddling Ivan's legs, and sat in his lap, a little too close to him for just two roommates to be. The Russian however, had noticed this, and was red, as well as thoroughly flustered.

¨I-I-It w-was an o-o-old m-memor-ry of th-th-the f-first time I-I-I g-got… Oh, I-I-I do-ont kn-know the englis-sh word...¨

Alfred furrowed his brow, his little bits off concern turning into a large ball of worry he could feel in his stomach. How could a memory scare him that much?

¨Could you describe the word? Like, what it is?¨

Ivan flushed red again, and mumbled, Alfred shook his head, indicating that he couldn't hear him.

¨F-Forc-ced s-sex...¨

He said, embarrassed and ashamed at the admittance and the vulgar word. Al was a little flushed, but more in shock than embarrassment.

¨Wait, someone forced you into sex?¨

Ivan opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted.

¨You said first time right? Was there a second time?!¨

The big Russian nodded, confused at his shock. It was completely normal for scum for him to get raped. Unfortunately, it had happened to him more times than usual.

¨Oh, Ivan, I'm so sorry...¨

Al said, and held the ashen blonde's shoulders in his hands, feeling real guilt sink in. What kind of life had Ivan lived before coming to America? He hoped it wasn't any worse than what he had already mentioned. And he seemed so damn casual about it! Alfred looked back up at his new roommate with sad eyes, and saw that Ivan was smiling softly. He looked so cute.

¨Is fine, You get used to it after a while.¨

The American froze in shock, mouth gaping as he took in what Ivan had just said, and how nonchalant he was about it all.

¨ _WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN AFTER A WHILE?!_ ¨

He said, raising his voice in anger at the idiots that had raped the beautiful man. Who could ever do something to someone so kind. Sure, he was hot, but forced sex was mean, uncool, and traumatizing! Alfred saw how Ivan immediately tensed, and shrunk back in fear,his hands up to protect his head as he repeated ´sorry´ over and over again.

¨No, no, Ivan, I'm sorry, dude, please calm down. I didn't mean to yell at you, Ivan It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you.¨

After a few minutes, he got his frightened roommate to calm down, and finally look at him. His eyes were slightly tearful, and scared, and Alfred just wanted to kiss him and tell him it was all okay, but something inside him held the American back. He might not even like guys, you idiot!

¨Hey, I'm sorry man, I-I just was kinda shocked at what you said. How long has this been going on?¨

Al asked softly, placing a hand on Ivan's shoulder and one on his arm, just to let him know he was okay. The Russian must have gone through some serious shit to react like that.

¨You don't have to tell me if you don't want to...¨

¨N-Niet, I-I just d-do n-not u-underst-stand.¨

Ivan said softly, flushing a little and noticing the few little butterflies that had decided to gather in his stomach.

¨Don't understand what?¨

The two met each other's gaze as they shared a small and deep moment together, just looking at the others beautiful, beautiful eyes. Even though Alfred had only met Ivan yesterday, he knew he was in love, and as for the ashen blonde, he'd never met someone so kind.

¨Wh-Why y-you care s-so much.¨

¨Ivan.¨

¨Hm?¨

¨You are very important, okay?¨

¨B-But I-I-I am n-not.¨

¨Yes you are. You are wonderful, and handsome, and strong, and very, very, important.¨

¨Niet, I-I-I a-am scum.¨

¨Ivan! You are not scum!¨

¨S-Sorry...¨

¨No, dude, just listen, okay¨

¨O-Okay.¨

¨You are amazing.¨

¨Nie-¨

¨Ivan.¨

¨Sorry.¨

¨You are amazing, and beautiful, and really, really strong, okay?¨

¨Ok-kay.¨

¨I want to get to know you, and be your best friend, and help you heal, okay?¨

¨B-But-¨

¨Okay?¨

¨Y-Yes.¨

¨Great. I love you, man. You´re so awesome.¨

Alfred hugged the big Russian again, smiling softly, and burying his face into Ivan's chest. God he smelled so good. Like outdoors and wood fires and vodka and flowers. It was sexy and hot but beautiful and charming at the same time. It was perfect, just like Ivan.

¨Hey, you wanna go get something to eat?¨

Al asked, his lips moving against the threadbare sweater.

¨MmHmm.¨

Ivan replied with a little nod, smiling as he stroked Alfred's hair. It was wonderful to be this close to someone without them wanting sex from him. He wanted to always be this close to Alfred. The blonde smiled and almost purred as Ivan stroked his hair, and leaned a little into the calloused hand. He opened his cyan eyes, and saw Ivan's loving look, smiling even more at how big but gentle he was. The Russian blushed red and looked down, still keeping a hand in Al´s hair as they sat with each other.

¨I was thinking maybe McDonalds. Or wherever really, I'm not picky.¨

Ivan assumed that McDonald's was a rich family with good trash cans out back. The Russian spent most of his life living out of dumpsters sand stealing to get food, so the thought wasn't abnormal. He was happy that his roommate knew where the good trash was in this town. If you could find a good restaurant or posh family, the trash out back mostly had good food, and enough to survive without having to seriously fight anyone for it. The thought of actually going inside a restaurant and paying for food went way over his head. He nodded again, and Alfred reluctantly got up, offering Ivan a hand to help him up with. The Russian fliched and closed at his eyes at first, expecting the sudden extension of his hand to be a slap or some other type of blow. When nothing happened, he slowly looked back up at Al, and saw him, hand reached out, and with a concerned smile on his handsome face. He took the blondes hand, and shakily stood up, realizing how bad he needed food. Ivan was shaking like a leaf, and almost passed out a few times as they walked out of the dorm and down the street. When they both arrived at the restaurant, Alfred continued to walk up to the front as Ivan headed to the small alleyway between McDonald's and the oddly placed bank firm next to it. When Alfred pushed open the glass door, and looked behind him to see what Ivans reaction was. When he didn't see the ashen blonde behind him, he panicked a little, and quickly backed up, looking around. When he saw Ivan almost halfway down the alley, he ran over to him.

¨Where are you going man?¨

He said, grabbing the Russians arm and pulling him a little. Ivan immediately turned around and pulled his arm away, raising his fists and assuming the defensive stance he had when they'd first met. His amethyst eyes were wide in fear, and he tried his best to calm down, shaking like a leaf as he tried to stand back up in a normal position.

¨S-S-S-Sor-rr-rry.¨

He managed to get out, as Alfred gave him yet another hug. Ivan pulled away, this time in fear, as they were in public. Everything was extremely overwhelming and considering how long Ivan had been without food, the circumstance was perfect for passing out. And that is exactly what he did.


	3. Emotionally Compromised Chicken Soup

_**WARNING! TALK OF ABUSE, PROSTITUTION, AND LOTS OF CUTE GAYNESS**_

 **AN: Wow, I did not expect so much support on this whole thing. Thank you so much to those that are leaving reviews. If it wasn't for y'all, I'd probably still be procrastinating. Anywho, I hope you guys like it.** **For some reason I'm kinda starting to lowkey ship Gil and Matthias together, but I'll just have too see about that.** **Please leave a review if you liked, and check out my other story, Butter whore** **(Yeah, yeah I know, eww, gross, but don't judge a story by its title).**

 **Thanks.**

 **~The Anxious AF Author**

Ivan began to slowly open his eyes as he tried to sit up, being himself too weak to actually sit up on his own. He wondered for a few seconds where he was. Did he sell himself to someone again? That was the only logical reason, as he felt covers, and knew he was in a bed. Maybe he had fainted, and someone had taken him in. No, it was probably the first one. Nobody would bother to help scum like him. Ivan noticed the lack of warmth around his neck and torso, and suddenly noticed that both his scarf and sweater were gone. His pants remained, but he began to panic as he remembered last night, and his current situation. Did Alfred carry him back to the dorm? Where were his clothes? Had Alfred seen the gruesome scars that littered his pale skin? Ivan mustered all of the remaining strength he had, and pushed himself into a sitting position, huffing and puffing from exhaustion once he'd reached the somewhat upright stance. The big Russian immediately heard the bedroom door open, and smelled food as his roommate sat down on the bed beside Ivan.

¨H-Hey man.. I got you some food, You should eat as soon as you can.¨

Alfred held a small tray with half an apple, a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup, and a small piece of toast. Ivan had scared the shit out of him earlier today, and he almost called an ambulance. Fortunately, he knew how to tell that Ivan was still alive, thanks to that lifeguard class he took when he was sixteen, and was able to drag Ivan back to the dorm with the help of a few of his friends. Gilbert and Matthias were laughing when Alfred had first called the two roommates in a panic, but when Alfred began to yell at them, tears and choked sobs in his voice, they'd rushed over as fast as they could. Despite their annoying comments about how hot Ivan was, and teasing Alfred about his new ´boyfriend´ they'd stayed with him until the big American had stopped crying. Gilbert may have been a little egotistical, but when it came to his friends, he set everything aside for them. As for Matthias, he knew how to comfort those in need, and always did. They were both in the living room at the moment, tangled on the couch, sleeping in each other's arms as they usually did when they were exhausted. Gil always needed something to cuddle with to fall asleep, and since they were using all the blankets in the dorm to keep Ivan's ghostly form from freezing, Matthias welcomed the albino's warmth. Some odd Comedy Central reruns were still on the TV, and they played softly in the background as Alfred coaxed Ivan with a spoonful of soup, a tad bit shocked at how desperately he ate the food. The big Russian practically inhaled the different foods, acting like a starving dog as he quickly ate every last crumb on the tray. When he'd finished, Ivan looked up at Alfred, and blushed darkly, subconsciously using his arms to cover the worst of his scars.

¨Th-Th-Thank y-you f-for your g-g-i-gift...¨

He said softly, the small organ just beneath his ribs visibly bloated by the food he'd so badly needed. Alfred teared up at the pitiful sight, and gave Ivan a big hug after setting the tray on the floor.

¨Ivan, g-god, what happened to you?...¨

He asked softly as quiet tears slid down his cheeks. It hurt Alfred more than he'd ever known to see someone so wonderful so deprived of necessary human needs. He'd never known someone as traumatised and afraid as Ivan, not even close. It was even worse than all the bad guys in the superhero movies he loved so much. Most of them just had a couple big scars, but Ivan was covered in them. The only place Ivan didn't have any scars was his face and chin. Other than that, everything was covered in dark, calloused skin, and recent bruises that the American was careful not to touch. He felt one of Ivan's strong but thin arms on his back, rubbing the tan skin in soft circles, relaxing Alfred, and making the tears fade as he cried into his roommates chest. It all was just a bit too much for Al, and after a minute or two of soft sobs, he took a big breath and turned off the waterworks. The saddened hero sat up and looked at Ivan's chest, tracing his fingers over the horrid scars that marked his roommate. Sapphire eyes met amethyst and stayed there for a good chunk of time as they both filled with sadness and questions. Al broke the silence with a question as old as time itself.

¨Why?...¨

He said, his voice quiet and heartbroken as his elegant hands fell on a large scar that seemed to almost encircle Ivan's quickly beating heart.

¨Wh-Why wh-what, мед?¨

The Russian asked, a soft, but forced smile on his face. He wanted nothing but happiness for Alfred, and couldn't understand what on earth was making him so sad. It couldn't possibly be him right? Or maybe it Ivan scared his roommate. That had to be it, why else would Al be crying like this?

¨Why do you have these scars? Why are you so scared of everything? Why didn't you come into the restaurant with me? Why did you push me away?¨

He said, the American's voice filled with pain as tears threatened to spill over his flushed cheeks again. Ivan cocked his head to the side a little as he held Al in his arms, confused.

¨Wh-Why are y-y-you s-so c-co-concern-ned?¨

He asked softly, still oblivious to Alfred's feelings towards him.

¨I'm worried because I care about you, okay Ivan?! You are a goddamn beautiful person, and I will kill whoever hurt you!¨

The statement shocked Ivan, and he was still for a moment before looking back at Alfred.

¨R-Really? Y-You care… A-about m-me?¨

¨Yes Ivan, yes! I care about more than I care about myself!¨

¨B-But… I-I am poor, filthy, h-homosexual, sc-scum. I-I do n-not deser-rve s-such af-ffection...¨

¨Ivan, I don't give a shit whether you are a girl or a guy or gay or straight or even if you've killed people! I care about you, and no one deserves to be treated like you treat yourself!¨

¨But-¨

¨Goddamnit Ivan just stop!¨

Alfred said, tears dripping down his cheeks as he held Ivan's calloused hands in his own. It was a sad and pitiful sight, and the Russian gave Alfred a sweet kiss on the cheek to show his thanks. He wasn't sure how they took that in America, but he knew it was accepted as platonic and friendly in many other countries. Al blushed furiously, and in thinking that it meant Ivan returned his feelings, Alfred leaned forward, and pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss. The ashen blonde was still for a few seconds in shock before relaxing and returning the kiss with unexpected skill. He was a good kisser from the few years that he had spent as a sex slave for Lord Nikolayevich. How he hated that man. Alfred pulled back first, in serious need of some air. The two men both just stared at each other for a few seconds before Alfred closed his eyes and laughed softly, touching foreheads with the Russian.  
"God, I don't know what the hell it is, but I love you so much more than any friend."

Ivan blushed, and sighed, exhausted, but happy for the first time in a long while. He wrapped his strong arms around Alfred's waist, and pulled the blonde in for another kiss. His lips tasted heavenly, and eventually they were both laying next to the other on Ivan's bed, arms around each other, and slowly kissing their counterpart. Alfred pulled back, a lustful look in his eyes as Ivan opened his own. The Russian knew that look, and certainly wanted to make love the the smaller American, but wasn't strong enough to at the moment.

"Люблю, I l-love you, b-but not ton-ni-night. I-I am m-much too tired."

He said softly, his deep voice filled with love for the American as they both crawled under the covers. Alfred rested his head against Ivan's big chest, and they intertwined into each other, becoming one as they both lost consciousness. And out of all the fear and sadness of the previous day, a new love was born. A love stronger, and more beautiful than anyone had ever seen.


	4. Lost Breath and Asshole Friends

**_WARNING: ALMOST SEXUAL CONTENT, TAKK OF RAPE, STARVATION, PROSTITUTION, AND EXTREME HOMOPHOBIA_** ****

 **AN: Wow, thank you guys for the support. I'm gonna do a little thing for this, so whomever leaves the fiftieth review, gets a free one shot of their choice. Anywho, I hope you guys enjoy my filler chapter, and are exited for the next one. *Wiggles eyebrows***

"Dude, you think they fucked last night?"

"Nah, look, Al still has his shirt on."

"You can have sex with a shirt on."

"Okay, we both know very well that he takes his shirt off at any available opportunity."

"True."

"Should we wake them up or take more pictures?"

"Pics, definitely. Its great blackmail material, and they're actually really cute together."

"Dude, same. They're so fucking adorable."

Alfred slowly opened his eyes as the conversation stopped, still a little groggy from sleep. The big Russian slept softly beside him, taking little huffs of air in and out of his lungs. When the blonde rubbed his eyes and sat up, he gave his two friends a sleepy glare, looking more cute than frightening. It was adorable. Gilbert snapped another picture before quickly slipping the smartphone in his back pocket, whistling innocently.

"Hey there, man. Looks like you got a boyyyfrrieeennndddd.~"

Matthias singsonged, trying his best to seem slightly less mischievous. It didn't work at all.

"What the hell do you two think you're doing?!"

Al snapped, his voice not at full volume half because of sleep and half because he didn't want to wake up the ashen blonde sleeping beside him.

"Well… we came to check on you two, and you two were just too cute, so we decided to take a couple pictures."

"I swear to god, if I see those posted anywhere-"

"Dude, dont worry, we're not like that!"

Matthias interrupted, gilbert grinning mischievously behind him. He gave Alfred a little wink, and hit the Dane with a playful punch.

"Let's leave the two lovebirds alone, and go get some breakfast or something."

"Fiiinnneeee."

Matthias groaned, and playfully sulked out of the room, followed by a certain albino, who was pointing various finger guns and cheeky winks in Alfred's direction. As the door was forcefully shut, Ivan's lilac eyes snapped open, and he sat up quickly, silent except for the covers. He looked a little panicked, so Alfred carefully placed a hand on an unscarred area of his shoulder. The pale man flinched, and quickly looked over at Al, silent but afraid. When he recognised his new lover, he became a bit more relaxed, memories of the previous few days flooding into his mind. It wasn't exactly pleasant, but Ivan went from panicked to relieved in a few minutes. His lips met Alfred in a soft and sweet good morning. Al was surprised for a minute, and then kissed back a little,his tongue just barely following Ivan's mouth when he pulled back.

"Good morning, мед.~"

The Russian purred, his eyes half lidded from sleep and filled with love. Alfred couldn't help himself, and hugged his lover around the torso, a little lovestruck from how romantic Ivan was. He noticed his new lover flinch a bit, and Al loosened his grip, making sure that he wasn't hurting him. The blonde felt a hand run through his hair, almost petting him in a way as he smiled, nuzzling into Ivan's thin stomach.

"Hey, Ivan?"

Alfred asked, getting the ashen blonde's attention as he asked the second half.

"Why are you so thin?"

He said softly, leaving little kisses all over his ribs. They jutted out of him, almost as if his skeleton was trying to escape the pale and scarred skin. It made the american sad, and he promised to never let ivan skip a meal again. As Alfred placed the affectionate kisses, the receiver got quite flustered, and Ivan blushed a dark red, not used to the type of affection he was receiving. It had been years since he'd lived in the brothel, and he hadn't been raped very much at the other places he'd worked as a servant, much less _loved_. Ivan ran his hands through Alfred's hair, and frowned a little in confusion.

"It is perfectly normal for people like me. Why do you ask?"

He said, his voice now soft and his usual stutter gone. He felt safe with Alfred, and wasn't scared at all. It had been a while since he'd felt like that. He saw the blonde look up at him, a bit of sadness and angry confusion on his handsome face. Al climbed on top of the Russian's legs and straddled them, sitting back as he ran his hands over Ivan's chest, lust and concern battling for dominance in his head.

"People like you? What does that mean?

"The lowest class. Homeless, Homosexual, Servant, Scum. We are all quite thin."

He said softly as he placed a hand oh Alfred's waist, almost as if touching him would make him understand. But no one could understand Ivan's tragic past. It was all a little too deep. The american gave ivan a soft kiss before asking another question.

"Gay people have nothing to do with the lowest class."

He said, a little confused. Al knew about the discrimination that happened in his country, but thought that it was just the extent. There were many rich and famous people that weregay, but still very loved, and got plenty of food.

"Gay?"

Ivan asked, his tongue forming the new foreign word. He said it a few times, trying to get used to the feel of the word in his mouth. It was definitely different.

"Yeah, Guys that like other guys. Its another word we use here for homosexual."

Al explained, deciding to take the whole thing slowly. Ivan obviously didn't know much outside of academics, and he definitely needed to learn a bit more about the U.S.

"Hm. Gay…"

The Russian said again, just rolling the word around. It was certainly interesting. Alfred was being so kind and gentle wit him. Back in his homeland, he was always hit for asking stupid questions, but Alfred hand never hurt him at all.

"But being that way has nothing to do with the type of person you are."

Ivan cocked his head to the side, confused with the American's statement. Of course it did!it had a ton do with your class and status.

"I-I'm not sure how things w-work here, but b-ba-backhome, h-homose-sexuals g-get ki-killed."

Alfred looked shocked as concern took over his expression, and he gave his lover another hug, trying his not to cry again. Al was kinda an emotional guy, and it was hard for him not to just bawl and fuss over Ivn, as he wanted his new lover to be safe and happy. It hurt him to know that Ivan had such a traumatizing past, and he only wanted to help him.

"Oh, Ivan. You won't get hurt here, I promise. I love you, and I won't let anybody harm you."

He said, giving his lover little kisses all over.

"People like us are accepted for the most part here. There are some people who don't like us, but they can't do anything without going to jail. Hell, we could even get married if we want to!"

Alfred said with determination, making Ivan flush bright red.

"I-I am not s-sure I'm r-ready for that y-yet."

The big Russian said softly, not wanting to hurt Alfred's feelings. But still, you could get married to other men In America? This really was the land of the free! Ivan smiled, happy as all hell that he would finally be able to have affections for someone in public without it being a life or death situation. He looked back at his lover, and smiled wide.

"R-Really?"

Alfred nodded, and leaned forward, giving Ivan a soft kiss. It was slow and sweet, and seemed to speak in its own language, telling the big Russian just how much he was loved. It felt nicer than any kiss he'd ever received, and Ivan never wanted it to end. After a few slow and intense minutes, Alfred pulled back, gasping softly for some sorely needed air. He would gladly stop breathing for Ivan, but not until they'd had heavy, rough, loving sex. Al dove back into the kiss as he daydreamed about intercourse with the big Russian. He bet his lover was absolutely huge down there, and would feel fucking amazing inside him. The American was no virgin, but he hadn't gotten some action in that department in a while, and was absolutely starved for sex. Ivan began to notice his lover get more heated in the kiss, and he continually began shifting his hips, almost as if he was excited for something. When they both pulled back Ivan opened his eyes and saw his boyfriend in front of him, a hot mess. Alfred's hair was messy, and he was panting, a little drool sliding off his lip as he leaned towards Ivan, hard as all hell and with one hell of a perverted blush across his cheeks.

"I-Ivan. I… I need you…"


	5. Life Update

**Hey, so apologies on the delay. It's been a while now, and I haven't updated, but I promise the next chapters are on their way. My 9-5 job is super exhausting, and I've fallen into another depressive episode, which I am working on. As well as all of that, I've been banned from the internet by big bad dad because of a few things including 27 stitches on the inside of my left forearm. The next chapters are on their way, but it will be a bit. Again, I'm quite sorry, and I haven't abandoned this story, so don't fret.**


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